Spirit Guide Etiquette

How do you know Who — or What — you are communicating with? Are there ways to confirm the identities of spirit entities, or to protect yourself from nefarious beings?

Red Spirits

None of the common methods for communicating with spirits guarantees any type of psychic protection, or a way to confirm the identity of the entities that may be contacted. Many people are introduced to communicating with spirits through some form of divination or parlor game. The Spiritualist Movement of the late 19th century popularized many of the ways we still attempt to speak to spirits — such as ouija boards, automatic writing, table-tapping, rapping, seances, etc.

Deep trance channeling, Tarot card reading, and scrying — crystal ball and mirror gazing — are all more ancient but persistent forms of soliciting information from spirits.

Some devices and technology used in communicating with ghosts of the dead or spirit entities have only been around for a relatively brief part of human history — such as photography, recording EVP (electronic voice phenomena), or measuring electro-magnetic frequencies. These more modern, techno-enhanced methods are commonplace among parapsychologists — ghost hunters.

Are you behaving like a beginner?
When we first attempt to talk to spirits, we are like toddlers who have just discovered telephones - the novelty of using the phone is the primary motivation. A toddler will speak to anyone on the phone, just to be doing it.

Using a communication device with intention and purpose — as a tool, not a toy — comes later. Phone etiquette is even further down the list of priorities, and must be learned. Phones today have evolved in features — Caller-ID, Contact Lists, and Ringtones all let you know who’s calling before you even answer.

One of the biggest “dangers” associated with communicating with spirits is that you might naively contact an angry spirit, or an entity that may try to “mess with you” — pretend to be something or someone it is not.

But you may be over-looking the more likely possibility that even your own god posse — the benevolent spirit guides and personal guardians that attend you — the Good Guys — can still scare the beejesus out of you.

They may not mean to, but friendly spirits and angelics can startle you just like anyone can — by catching you off-guard. They may also be eager or overly-enthusiastic about the communication you’ve established, and start popping in more frequently or creating physical manifestions to get your attention.

If you’re not expecting it, even an angel dropping by to say hello could cause you to have a heart attack. The only time in my life I have ever literally fainted was as a result of a well-meaning, enthusiastic guide leaning in over my shoulder while I was on the computer and speaking suddenly and loudly right in my ear.

It wasn’t his fault — we’d been communicating regularly for months; he assumed I was open to any and all interactions with him. I realized, after-the-fact, that I had never indicated anything to the contrary; I required boundaries — but I had never considered my expectations, let alone, told my guides what they were, or how to honor them.

You can and should protect yourself. Some general examples of protective rituals you can include before engaging in spiritualist activities:

  • Do a calming exercise — such as meditation, or a simple breathing technique.
  • Pray to or invoke a Higher Power — this may be the Source you call God, Ascended Masters, Saints, or Archangels.
  • Visualize yourself surrounded by a bubble of energy or bathed in a glowing light — you may hear this referred to as The White Light of The Holy Spirit.
  • Ask that you (and, when it applies, others present) be protected.
  • Ask that your activities serve the greatest possible outcome for all affected, and that they bring harm to no one.
  • State exactly who you wish to speak with.
  • State who is not allowed or banned from the proceedings.

You Are the Authority
Your spirit guides will defer to your judgment and free will. With the exception of intervening in times of great danger, your guardians will not go against your wishes.

Your Intentions Rule
Like attracts like. You are less likely to attract negative entities than you may fear. If your intentions are positive — to call on benevolent spirits — they will be the ones who answer.

How do you tell if you’ve got a Bad Guy on the line? It’s usually pretty simple to tell the difference between malevolent and benevolent entities:

  • Ask yourself: how does this interaction make me feel?
    Don’t confuse excitement or heightened awareness with anxiety, dread, or fear. All these emotional states can cause physical responses, such as release of endorphins or “fight or flight” hormones like adrenalin. Changes in breathing pattern, body temperature, elevated heart rate and blood pressure, perspiration, etc. are all physical responses to emotional stimuli.
  • Examine the nature of the messages: what is the content of the messages I’m receiving?Are the messages friendly, useful, or practical? Or are they disturbing, malicious, confusing, or contradicting?
  • If you feel at all anxious about the connection, the messages you’re receiving, or doubt that the entities are who they claim to be, tell them to Go Away. I trust my Guardians to handle this for me, and act as spiritual bouncers - anyone they don’t trust, or that I have stated that I do not trust, are simply not welcome. I ask that they handle these negative characters however they wish, on my authority, and that I need not even be bothered to know about it.
  • When in doubt, simply stop.

Beyond these general guidelines, establish some old-fashioned rules for Best Behavior. You can’t expect anyone — whether a spiritual being or a living person — to treat you in a specific way if you haven’t told him exactly what you expect.

Teach them some manners. I now have established “boundaries” with my Guides:

I request that all members of my personal spirit team — especially if they’re planning a physical manifestation - an apparition, or moving an object — to always “appear” approximately 6 feet directly in front of me.

I know that when I “see” something — and sometimes it’s not a ghostly human form, but just flashes or something to get my attention — when it’s my guides, it will be in front of me, as I’ve requested. I have woken up before, nose-to-nose with a ghost. This can be a little nerve-wracking.

I usually initiate the conversations, but sometimes they will try to get my attention: I may see a white flash in front of me — like someone “waved a white flag of surrender” around the doorframe. They will repeat it every few minutes. Usually by the 3rd time, I realize “Oh, wait a second, they must want to tell me something.”

I’ll stop whatever I’m doing and investigate, by inviting them to approach and speak.

Delegating to Your God Posse
I also request that any entity that I am not familiar with be intercepted and trained in this protocol by my guides. If and when something approaches me outside these established boundaries, I know I’m not dealing with “family” and to be on my guard.

I don’t experience dark entities much, probably because, unlike people who ask for anything out there to speak to them, setting themselves up for anything to approach them, my guides know how I prefer to operate, what kind of behavior is expected in SladeSpace.

I trust them to turn away any entity that refuses to behave according to our agreed-upon etiquette. It seems my Guardies do a great job, without need for micromanagement on my part.

It all sounds more formal than it is — I speak to them in exactly the same manner as I would a friend — conversational and informal, to the point of shocking irreverence. I joke, whine, cuss — whatever the situation calls for.

They’re on your side — they aren’t here to judge you.

My guides and I have developed these rules — patterns, signs, and symbols — to function as a kind of short-hand or sign-language, in a broader sense. The details and examples would be too numerous to mention here.

They are forever inventing and co-authoring this system with me. Remember that you are engaging in long-term relationships with these entities. Their mission is your mission.

Etiquette and manners govern peacable interactions between well-intentioned entities from different backgrounds and circumstances. Over time, established expectations of behavior builds trust, encourages cooperation for the good of all involved, and, at the very least, keeps fear, confusion, and misunderstanding to a minimum.

Consider how you might implement these concepts in your spiritual practices — play with them, experiment, be flexible — adapt them to your lifestyle — and see what develops.

Comments

7 Responses to “Spirit Guide Etiquette”

  1. Shift Your Spirits - ezine » Blog Archive » What Part of No Don’t You Understand? on November 25th, 2006 11:18 pm

    […] Spirit Etiquette - set some psychic boundaries; teach your guides some manners… […]

  2. Shift Your Spirits » Blog Archive » Where do your Spirit Guides get their looks? on December 15th, 2006 10:05 pm

    […] [How to tell for sure if this is the case is another conversation for another article, another time.] […]

  3. Lily on July 9th, 2007 9:49 am

    Hi Slade,

    This post really helped me to see how I can communicate with my angels and guardians. For quite sometime now I can feel them around me. And I think they are trying to get in touch with me, but I haven’t really let them in because I feel so afraid of seeing them!

    I also know they have been speaking to me through my writing and poems (I get into a super flow state when I write my poems; and when I get out, I am surprised to see what I have written)

    Just last night I ’saw’ at the corner of my eye a shadow sweeping across the room from behind me. It happened in a split second. It’s somewhat like an airplane or a big bird flying overhead and passing by. Then I got a sudden flash in my mind a pair of wings. Later on in a semi dreamlike state, a being came into my mind and I ’saw’ again in my mind the name Seraphiel.

    I have been told by someone with clairvoyant skills that my 8th chakra is opening and I have info ‘waiting’ to be channelled. That is if I allow it. I guess your post isn’t a coincidence - it shed some light on what I can do. So, thanks!

  4. Slade on July 9th, 2007 3:24 pm

    Lily,

    Thanks for sharing your experience — fascinating story.

    No doubt you are engaging in a form of automatic writing, or transcribed channeling. My own channeled messages often resemble a kind of poetry or verse, which is not a form I would consciously choose to pursue.

    Seraphiel is indeed an archangel name known throughout history, the highest of the seraphim, and even closer to source than Metratron or Michael.

    You will probably want to research Seraphiel — here’s a Wikipedia link:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seraphiel

    I’m honored to play a part in your path of discovery.

  5. Erin on November 18th, 2007 6:18 pm

    Hi Slade,
    Thank you so much, for sharing your experiences of working with your guides. I loved the idea of having them remove entities without even communicating that with me. I have always been very open and empathic, but only began working with my guides at a conscious level the past year. It has been a stumble, fall down, get up again, repeat, but now it is less stumble and I feel peace that it is beginning to turn around for the better. It seems that I “pick up” entities (or believe I do), almost as easily as I pick up energies/emotions. This is improving, and your article will certainly help me to set more boundaries and remove the fear element. I am sure others will find the information very helpful, as well. There is so much out there on the net that does not ring true and it felt great to read something that does. I wish you much success and thanks, for the tips!

  6. Slade | Shift Your Spirits on November 18th, 2007 6:47 pm

    Erin,

    There is so much out there on the net that does not ring true and it felt great to read something that does.

    That’s a fantastic compliment to me — thank you so much for saying so!

  7. Mary on December 29th, 2007 4:16 am

    Hi Slade,
    Every since my sister and I were little we’ve been able to dream and predict occurances. I’ve always known that there were energies around me and though we don’t always talk out loud, when I dream they show me things and take me to places I’ve never been before. I have several questions to ask you if you could email me.
    One of my guides tends to surprise me and scare me though I know now he’s just trying to get my attention. Though I’m still startled I know that I just have to catch my breath.

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