If Your Cup is Full, Stop Pouring
Last year, I returned from my annual Beltane Gathering spiritual retreat bearing the messages I received, the insights gained, the work I accomplished on your behalf, the dominant universal theme The Stories that No Longer Serve You.
Hyper-conscious Unconsciousness
This year, with an even larger audience to represent, I had even grander expectations. I fell into a Lightworker’s Trap of trying, striving, working, growing — an overly self-conscious consciousness that is its own form of unconsciousness. I was so busy with an awareness of presence that I was not truly present at all.
Only for the first day or so, and then I was forced to adjust.
My internal dialog — hyperconscious, do-gooder-manic, spiritually self-conscious, with a Lightworker’s To Do list, treating my soul’s sense of purpose like a job:
- This is a rare religious community experience — I need to make the most of every second
- I’m here representing thousands of members of my virtual community — I must act accordingly
- I must listen for something important, so I can share it, teach it, write about it
- I should be participating as fully as possible
- I should be photographing something I can post
- I should be listening intently to the guides of all these hundreds of spiritually like-minded souls, whom I normally have no access to
- Shouldn’t I be meditating or something?
- Should I be offering to do readings?
- Shouldn’t I at least be taking notes?
The Little Ego that Should
Should is the most impotent, dis-empowering word in your spiritual vocabulary. When you frame your questions to spirit with “Should I…” you’re inviting something else to take over. That something else may be a low-brow, unhelpful or negative wanna-be spirit guide, but more often than any other, that something else is the most dangerous entity of all — lying in wait, as close as your thinking mind, more familiar than your favorite pair of underwear, and knowing every secret way into your awareness… a Master of Disguise and General Mayhem, the Great Underminer of Your Authenticity.
Your Ego. [insert blood-curdling horror-film scream]
When you’re hot on the trail of your life purpose, conscious of following your Shifting Path — especially when you’ve had a taste of the life-changing benefits — you actually give your Ego a potential Atlas full of Guilt Trips to plan to take you down…
In past years at Gatherings, I’ve contributed my creativity and my presence to the Ritual Committee. I’ve helped to hold the weight of grueling Heart Circles (intense group therapy sessions that can go on for hours and rotate among the voices of hundreds of broken spirits who have held years’ worth of painful energy with no opportunity for safe community or access to professional counseling…).
I knew, I was intellectually conscious of, all that I could be, should be, would have been doing… But, honestly I didn’t feel motivated to do one damn “useful,” priestly, godly thing.
Shouldn’t I be doing something? The question kept coming — it was almost a panic after 48 hours — but the answer, the response, the directive, the message kept coming too:
No.
- Trying is not doing; is not being.
- Observing is not participating.
- Studying is not being fully present.
- Photographing something generally removes you from the picture.
- Striving and straining — even up, even forward, even with the best intentions — is contemplating lack.
Writing about an experience is one thing (and all my fellow bloggers will know this insidious background voice) but stepping out to full observer mode, in a self-conscious awareness of a future reflection, robs you of the present moment. You end up with nothing genuine to reflect upon because you weren’t there.
Joy only happens in the present.
I kept asking Spirit, my guides, to give me something to do with my presence; they responded with a consistent Stop. Do nothing. BE present. Your life purpose is not something you can fail at. You’re already doing it, with every breath you take.
I finally “got it” — I threw all my expectations, my stories, my roles, my responsibilities to the near-tornado spring winds that seemed to want to turn the tents and tarps into magic carpets.
My best friend Seth and I have been attending these retreats for a decade now. We’ve had amazing insights, spiritual growth experiences; we’ve successfully manifested a lifetime of magical work. With all those notches on our belts, there was no need to ramp it up, turn up the volume, take it to the next level…
The Next-level Up was landing firmly on the ground.
We were given the opportunity to do the most “un-glamorous” yet important job at an event like this — we did dishes for over 600 people. We had a blast contributing in this way — it was actually extremely gratifying to do something so linear and practical and physical and grounded in the middle of all that collective creative, organic, astral madness.
We generally aspired to and succeeded at giggling for the remaining four days.
And, what do you know? I was given an article after all.
Where are you trying too hard to get it? Is your spiritual development expanding so fast that your guides are telling you what you need to do is stop and work with what you’ve got?
When your cup is full — stop pouring. Sip on what you’ve got in there for a bit. If you get to the bottom and there’s not another drop in sight… Well, go wash your cup.
Comments
11 Responses to “If Your Cup is Full, Stop Pouring”
Leave a Reply
Most Recent Articles
Recommended Links
My friend Jason usually attends that same gathering I believe. Wonder if he crossed your path?
This was tremendously well thought out. I am printing a few copies to mail to friends (I like real mail even more than forwarding via email/links) and it must have been an emotional and fulfilling experience. I’m sure in some ways, despite your feeding all those people you still were able to recharge your batteries.
It’s such a simple message to be in the moment but why is it so hard to get thrown off track anyway? I suspect a lot of it is that we’re just conditioned to live at such a fast pace, feeling like we need to ‘do’ something or have something tangible to show for how we spend our time. I especially appreciate that ..”striving…is contemplating lack…” Wow. It’s something I constantly need to remind myself. Sometimes we are on the right path and have what we need and should have… and just have to see it that way. And I know that this is not license to fester and do nothing with our given gifts, aspire to nothing new and challenging. I take it as a nudge to have a little faith we’re on the right path.
It’s wonderful you take your role as a teacher so seriously and we all appreciate it so much. Thank you!
Congratulations on not buying into the bull that your ego was trying to hand to you. Great article. I am looking forward to your class in June.
Slade,
Years ago a collage buddy of mine went to Europe for the first time to study. He did not bring a camera. On purpose. Instead he brought a very thick poetry journal and filled it with memories. While others snapped pictures of historic places, he absorbed the energy of the moment and put it on paper. He forbid anyone from sending him double prints on their return.
I’ve never had the courage to go that far, but I am careful not to confuse the camera lens (in the literal and figurative sense) with my own eyes.
BTW, I finished my latest novel this past week. I had floundered the week before even though I was agonizingly close to the end. It wasn’t until I realized that I’d let my mind race ahead to the glorious moment of finishing and celebrating my success that I snapped myself back to the moment. Then and only then did I slay the beast with a very tangible “The End.”
As usual, this message was timely. Thanks for all you do.
Love & Light,
Jewels
Dear God(dess) Slade!
You have perfectly expressed a feeling that came upon me in the last couple of months:
“I’m going to live my life!”
– Not worry about recapping the story of it for my blog…
– Not try to make sure that my experience fits into a box that I can then use in my work with clients…
– Just have my own personal experiences and follow them where they lead me and enjoy what is right in front of me and be as present as possible…
And I’m having a blast!
I’m doing the next obvious thing, regardless of whether it makes sense to whomever it is that monitors these things and keeps track and makes notes in our permanent records.
I’m also taking full advantage of the ways in which life is magical and synchronistic and effortless. And milking those experiences for all the energy they offer instead of thinking, “Ok, check… what’s next?” as I have done in the past. I thank you for bringing that idea to me — I read about it here somewhere on your blog and it really stuck with me.
Thank you Slade, as always, for your clarity and forthrightness.
Much love,
Frank
Hi Slade, you know I was telling a minister friend today that I just wanted to say this over and over and couldn’t find a new way. You put it brilliantly.
Usually when I get to this point, I get a bad cold. The severity of the cold depends on how much I need to stop. The last cold I had I was trying to hold the space for something way beyond my abilities at the moment.
Thanks for the that clear insight
In Spirit,
Nneka
Slade, what a funny article this is, and I couldn’t agree more with you! I fell into this ego trap so often these days, that I’m all etherically muddy! Thank you for helping to pull me out of this
Wow, Slade - that was a powerful article! And welcome back (in every sense of the phrase, I guess, after your “ego-trip”
).
I think teachers (of all kinds) can be prone to becoming collectors of experiences… I know I used to do this when I was lecturing, for example: I was constantly on the lookout for examples (from my own life and work, as well as from others’ experiences) that I could incorporate into my lectures to bring the material to life for my students. Ultimately though, it leads to a feeling of disconnection and separateness, as you pointed out, and life can feel kind of sterile - I’m seeing all the collected experiences pinned in glass boxes much like a collector of insects would display his/her specimens
.
Sabine,
I know quite a few Jason’s from Gatherings — there are four Jason’s who are very significant to me, all from different parts of the country. The name is very significant to me. Email me if he’s one of my Jason’s!
:-)
The need to expand and take action and grow is a spectrum, with two extreme ends — here, I’ve described the upper end of “too much” expansion with a prescription of Chill for a bit; there is also a low end of spiritual stagnation or spiritual boredom (the festering and not acting you describe) when the prescription is to challenge yourself, push outside your comfort zone, etc.
Ideally, there is an organic, dynamic harmony that swings and circles between the two, somewhere close to the middle.
My calling, life purpose, career — all are blissfully identified with being a priest, healer, teacher — having the attention of so many people is a great responsibility, which I am honored by and very grateful for. Thank you for acknowledging it!
Patricia,
It’s certainly not like the challenges of the ego aren’t constantly re-inventing and coming at me — the best we can hope for is to get better at spotting it, identifying it quickly, and doing something a little different in the moment to make that shift.
Jewels,
Congratulations! Finishing a book is enormous achievement. Please take a moment to truly relish that, feel it, absorb it before you move on to the next task, step. It has to be one of the most significant opportunities to feel your power.
It’s funny that you mention a trip to Europe — it’s been 18 years since I went to Europe and looking back at that experience, it’s a perfect example of one of those moments. I think my journal from that time has a few confused, disappointed entries that record specifically how little I had to record.
I don’t even know if I still possess the pictures I took, and at the time I had a very significant angel encounter that I did not understand when it happened. I didn’t write a single word about it, but were I to write a memoir of major spirit encounters, I would have much to say about it now.
Frank,
Bravo! I call what you’re describing Chaos Surfing — it beats the heck out of any To Do list, Plan, Mapped Path… Spread your wings, brother!
Nneka,
Very good point you bring up — the body will stop you dead in your tracks if necessary. The body will make sure, will override the mind. The body is the most powerful and accurate divination tool we have.
Irene,
Jump off the astral carousel, girl, and sit one out — you’re making yourself dizzy!
:-)
Mags,
OMG! I literally took an Ego Trip didn’t I? Oh, language does its job so well sometimes… Thanks for pulling out the obvious poetry.
Collector of Experiences — well said, indeed!
I’m preparing for a class in a few weeks and absolutely, literally pacing and racing with examples — which to choose, which makes a better point, what order should they be presented in…
At least that material was lived fully, without my worrying in the Present how it might one day be used.
Love your ornithological image.
Julie —
I’m in awe. Congratulations!
Frank
This is some powerful stuff. It really reminds me of the work I do as well, very similiar. Are you a Warrior Brother from the Mankind Project?
Mike
www.ChangeYourLifeCoaching.com
Hey Mike,
I am not familiar with the Mankind Project, but I may your Brother all the same.
Thanks for your link!