Change Ain’t Always Pretty

image - Kali Could these Heavenly Downloads — these spiritual shifts, program updates, and rearrangements — be analogous to birth contractions? The miracle of life, rebirth, and change can be a great source of joy in the long term, but in the short term, shouldn’t you expect some serious (perhaps escalating) waves of discomfort?

Invoking the Goddess Kali can bring a serious mixed bag of blessings — I don’t know why she’s depicted wearing a chain of human skulls as a necklace instead of swinging one like a wrecking ball. It’s easy to forget that Change, as the primary Engine of Creation, comes with built-in destructive (and de-constructive) forces. Order is made from chaos.

Before you go to bed at night you pray for a new life to be built out of existing materials — you P.S. the “Make it so” with “Make it quick!” — but you still wake up horrified at the sound of dynamite. The Really Big Changes are usually not renovations — they are condemnations with tear-downs as a first phase.

The Collective
Change we can believe in, a New World Order, the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius, the Birth of the New Earth, Ascension, Apocalypse…

Yeah, so we’re pregnant. We’ve known this for a while now, right? We’ve been celebrating and expanding with our potential… Seems like our water broke recently, huh? Are we feeling the labor pains?

The birth is imminent, so we’re inevitably waiting or pushing… or just breathing in between.

The Personal
I’m not good at the in between bits. I’m incredibly willful and pretty damn comfortable at this point in my life with that aspect of myself. I like to push. I like to make things happen. I like momentum and forward motion, even when it feels reckless, dangerous… at least it feels alive. I generally suck at surrendering, being patient, and waiting to exhale. I’d probably choose an uphill battle with a goal on top or a high speed downhill chase with no brakes over a treadmill any day.

Even though I may intellectually recognize the microcosmic parallel of my life to the Collective — that I’m not alone in these processes of change — I nevertheless experience it in an incredibly lonely, personal way.

How are the details of the Big Changes taking place manifesting for you? Because the personal bits are the only parts that you can hope to affect or experience. You’ve got your own crumbs to carry. As the Universal Lego set gets broken up and handed out, you only get a handful of the bricks to work with. What madness have you constructed?

Right now, during this bizarre stage of y/our evolution, a lot of things that have not been right for a long time are up for review — demanding that you clear them out or at least correct them before going forward.
Any structures you have in place that lack integrity are being flagged to come down. Hard as it may be to put yourself in the right perspective, consider painful alarms and warning bells as blessings — alerting you to weaknesses that need to be revised, corrected, or thrown out to make way for something better.
Circumstances and environments and behavior patterns where you misuse (or possibly waste) your energy are grinding to a halt, or at least losing momentum.
Actions motivated by your ego-driven thinking mind are becoming difficult to catch or to control. Does it seem like you’ve dangerously reverted? Or does feel like two-steps-forward/one-step-back?
Your affirmations don’t seem to be doing you a damned bit of good when it comes to tuning out the voices of fear. You’re muttering to yourself like some crazy street oracle, but it just doesn’t seem to be working as well as it has in the past, does it?
You’re blessing everything in sight, in a desperate invocation of gratitude, and somehow that’s making you feel just the opposite of grateful — and guilty about that whole inverted spiral.

What the hell are you supposed to do?
If you can relate to these experiences, at this moment in time, you aren’t supposed to be doing anything. Don’t try to make life-changing decisions or take action.

Use this as an opportunity to:

Evaluate and plan, prior to the next wave of change energy.
Get clear about your priorities.
If something’s not working for you, stop working it (at least entertain what it might feel like to stop).
If you’re running into walls, stand back, catch a breath, and see if there isn’t an opening you’re missing in your haste to move only forward.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, make a list of whom you might ask for help.
If you’re stagnant, take a look at what your procrastination may be pointing to. Reconnect with a dream you pushed aside for some “better” future.

Honestly, I’m not keen on ranting like some End Times preacher (or news anchor, for that matter) prophesying doom and gloom. Neither am I into playing the mouthpiece like one of those New Age gurus with a glassy look in the eyes who sounds like he just ate some mushrooms. You know the Ones — their messages are liberally dosed with vocabulary that sounds like a bad science fiction script and Every Other Word gets Capitalized — “Lighworkers are Being Called to Hold Hands Around the Globe and Hum Together as One with the Hosts of Heaven and the Father-Mother God in Shifting the Planet to the Next Vibration of the Galactic Alignment that will Usher in a Utopian Age of Quantum Bliss.”

(I just gagged on that a little bit… Did you?)

Seriously, I shouldn’t disparage these authors so cruelly, because even though I aspire to pin the words down somewhere closer to grounded, a good portion of the time I do Get what they’re trying to describe. I’m probably (technically) one of these mystical cheerleaders, as much as I hate to admit it. I’m certainly more Out There than Anderson Cooper.

This Shit is hard to articulate! It’s neither as terrible or as glorious as either manic extreme might make it out to be. But I do believe it — Something Big — is happening and, yes, I do feel it. I feel confident that, if I chose to, I could even approach this evolution of human consciousness from an agnostic, woo woo-free perspective. What we’re experiencing is as much about technology and global society as it is about God.

I received no less than twenty-five emails this week from readers who feel like they are coming unglued — and I know that means there could be twenty-five hundred who feel the same way and are suffering in silence. For me, the greatest challenges in producing a blog like this on a regular basis is finding a reasonable middle ground between everyday reality and the mystical — between addressing the panic and pessimism that many people genuinely feel and wearing some crazy Happy Face mask of Magically Delicious News that you can’t relate to.

The emails I received all used words like overwhelmed, anxious, stuck, scattered, confused. I apologize that I can’t respond to them all individually… My advice right now is:

Breathe. And contemplate the following questions:

“What do I truly want?”
“What’s the next most obvious step to get me where I want to go?”
“What are the most important things in my world?”
“Am I living my life in a way that honors what really matters to me?”

Wait for the signal to push again. You can’t miss it. You’ll feel it…. And don’t mind the mess. It’s part of the process.
Slade's signature

Kali image by Nico Nelson via Creative Commons on Flickr

March 8, 2009 | by Slade Roberson | Filed Under Power

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Comments

14 Responses to “Change Ain’t Always Pretty”

Barbara on March 8th, 2009 3:28 pm

Hi Slade,

I ddn’t just gag a little…

It helped to laugh at the recognition, especially when I feel innundated with only lightworker messages stuck on replay, wondering what good a tape’s gonna do me, this tape or any tape.

I can hardly be with or talk to any of my classmates that stubbornly are standing their let’s hold hands and we’ll be immune position. I wonder sometimes are they really not noticing or are they kidding.

You’re so right. Putting these varied experiences to words seems to be an off kilter task, just enough to set another round of confusion in motion. They fit a moment ago, didn’t they? I’m often thinking it’s better not to try, but I can’t seem to stop trying either. Something compels. Maybe the right words will have the right effect, I surmise, or is that hoping beyond hope?.

If I can keep it (mostly) framed as it’s gonna be uncomfortable, I can get a break now and then, still remain grounded in what often feels like onslaught.
Emily on March 8th, 2009 5:31 pm

Thank you Slade! This was exactly what I needed to hear today.

When big changes first started rolling in my life it was awesome. I felt more excited than I had in years. I was naive enough to think it would continue…

Then, BAM!! For nearly two weeks I’ve been completely exhausted. It seems like every morning I wake up more tired than I was the night before.

The odd thing is that despite feeling frayed around the ends, I haven’t been particularly upset by it. I know I’m on the right path and the synchronicities in this post only confirm it.

It IS nice to know each of us isn’t alone in this and that we can do more than just suffer through it. Thanks again Slade.
Jenny Mannion on March 8th, 2009 7:41 pm

Hi Slade,
BOY did you hit the nail on the head with this one for me! THANK YOU! I have been feeling much like Emily and have been beating myself up because ‘I should KNOW better, “I have so many tools to get me out of this”…. It began to subside 2 days ago but only after I totally surrendered to it and said “Ok - I know this is going on, this won’t last and I am going to try and learn while it is happening and stop trying to fix it”.

It is WONDERFULLY comforting to know I am not alone and thank you again Slade for putting this wonderful post together.

Love,
Jenny
Angelic on March 8th, 2009 8:00 pm

Brilliant Slade!! I loved it and its true, and I am sure speaks to so many of us, especially right now. Keeping it straigh with no BS, haha classic, I love your work
Learning Life Lessons Through Mentor(s) on March 8th, 2009 8:16 pm

[...] Despite my heartfelt intentions, I might have been a little off with # 3. I’m a lot like my favorite spiritual blogger (Slade Roberson) who wrote in a recent article two things I can relate to. (Note: The second quote was paraphrased where I took out some words): I like to push. I like to make things happen. I like forward motion, even when it feels reckless, dangerous…..at least it feels alive……. For me, the greatest challenge…..is finding a reasonable middle ground between everyday reality and mystical - - between addressing the panic and pessimism that many people genuinely feel and wearing some crazy happy face mask of Magically Delicious News you can’t relate to. [...]
Jo Canfield on March 8th, 2009 8:56 pm

Hi Slade,

I wanted to thank you for this posting as it has let me know that recent events happened exactly as they needed to. Last week was one of the most emotional, confusing, over whelming, etc…. weeks I have ever had and it was within a professional capacity, which for a Capricorn is the worst that could ever happen!!! However, after reflecting and removing my rosey tinted glasses I see that this was a life changing and incredible experience that I could possibly of had. Basically it needed to be a BIG HUGE lesson to learn from as otherwise, as like many times before, I would have ignored it and carried on (on what know seems the wrong path)!!

Reading your posting confirmed all that I had instictively known to be true and made me think, “Hey, this is ok, I can handle this and it is not just me!”

Thank you again. Take care.
Tina on March 8th, 2009 10:26 pm

I didn’t send you an email… But I considered it… with the exact same issues as the people who DID send you emails…
You “introduced” me to my spirit guides some time in 2007, and lately I’ve considered a follow-up reading in my desperation related to the confusion, anxiety and frustration in relation to the feelings of “nothing is happening, but I feel something should” and “I can’t get this show on the road” and “I’m stuck”.
Putting all that stuff aside I’m slightly ashamed to admit the reason why I haven’t contacted you for another reading… I shouldn’t HAVE to, see..?
It’s pretty obvious the kind of stalemate I’m in…
But I just wanted to comment on how the issue of todays post struck home with me, and probably millions of others. After all, I’m all the way up here in Norway and the happenings you outlined I feel mirrored in the general environments around me, independent of each other.
Rock on, Slade..
DeStouet on March 9th, 2009 5:17 am

Beautiful! The thing is that I am currently giving birth and pregnant at the same time.

In other words I am pushing, and filled to the brim with all sorts of possibilities.

I am also being commanded to brush off some old goals and being reworking them.

There is so much going on in this spirit of mines, add to that the fact that there is some kind of universal fear in the air and you can see why I am taking it one day at a time.
Anita on March 9th, 2009 9:56 am

“What do I truly want”? Better to ask “what do I truly desire?” for the W-word just reinforces what it is that you are ‘in want’ of. Don’t just take my word for it, take your new vocabulary for a test-drive, a spin around ye old block and see how it handles.

There is a plethora of fluffy, light and loving messages and teachings out there. The tape sure is stuck on replay and maybe stuck on stupid. Picked up an amusing term from another Teacher who was going through a particularly messy shift: FGO - fucking growth opportunity.

We’re all like Sisyphus in many ways with our growth, pushing that damn boulder up the mountain - sometimes best to step out of the way and let it roll down and smash all the deadwood and undergrowth; blaze a nice new path for you to stroll down. Boulder=wrecking ball; all we are required to do, is simply let it go and get out of the way.

‘Tis a time of contradictions, paradoxes and oxymorons. Ultimately, we are all being challenged, fine-tuned and refined to have absolute trust and faith in our own inherent sovereign wisdom and inner GPS.

Great post, Slade, as always.
Deb Estep on March 9th, 2009 12:37 pm

Ahhhhh …. Slade I am nearly always right on board with everything you write, but this point you made just did not set well with me….

New Age gurus with a glassy look in the eyes who sounds like he just ate some mushrooms. You know the Ones — their messages are liberally dosed with vocabulary that sounds like a bad science fiction script and Every Other Word gets Capitalized — “Lighworkers are Being Called to Hold Hands Around the Globe and Hum Together as One with the Hosts of Heaven and the Father-Mother God in Shifting the Planet to the Next Vibration of the Galactic Alignment that will Usher in a Utopian Age of Quantum Bliss.”
(I just gagged on that a little bit… Did you?)

The reason being that the New Age gurus you speak of………. their form of presentation might not work for me, but at least they are AWAKE and aware of the Shift.

These gurus are reaching the minds of many who have the opportunity to then seek out their own truths. If that search starts out with hand holding and humming… I say……….. YEAH !!!!

I get that you are not damning them, only saying it does not work for you.

I believe I would be one of those individuals who are feeling…..’overwhelmed, anxious, stuck, scattered, and confused’, were it not for the knowing that I pick up on the emotions of others. Negative emotions just seem to come at me wave after wave. When I distinguish it’s not me, i become like a seal and I am not weighted down.

Recently I read something that resonated with me…..

From The Holon of Balance - channeled message of
Tom Kenyon. It speaks of earthquakes and volcanoes and the effects those
“frequencies generated” have on our emotions……….

IF you think … ‘well, no earthquakes have happened around me’, I looked up a world wide seismic activity map. In the past 7 days there have been 191 earthquakes around the world.

“First of all, as these seismic activities increase there is a tendency for agitation, erratic emotional feelings, disturbed thought patterns, short term memory difficulties, irritation, irrationality, a feeling of being in a vise, or a feeling of being trapped. Sleep disturbances are often a part of this, as is a general feeling of depression, despair or malaise, and sudden feelings of being drained. Generally speaking, these symptoms will be strongest for those closest to the affected fault lines, but sensitive individuals can be affected at great distances.”

http://tomkenyon.com/managing-subtle-energy-during-earth-changes

Slade….. I consider myself blessed to be an avid reader of your blog.

Another of your readers… RoK recently made a blog post questioning
the Value in Content of blogs. For me, he NAILED why your blog is such
a ‘Value’ in my life…………

* – “Tell it to me in a way I didn’t think of!” – *

http://tinyurl.com/ROK-Value-in-Content

Lovies
DebNOhio
Andrea|Empowered Soul on March 9th, 2009 2:20 pm

Love this article, Slade (and you KNOW I love the over-capitalized Lightworker speak! Hee hee!).

I feel like I’ve been on a roller-coaster ride of expansion - in relationships, work, finances, travel … it’s all getting bigger and bigger. It’s fantastic and a bit overwhelming and exhausting, but exhilarating, too.

Most especially, I know that all this stuff is coming my way because I instigate it - my requests to the Universe aren’t always graceful, and so they return to me in the same fashion. Everything is returning to me so FAST these days - I ask and boom! there it is.

This accelerated rate of manifestation, to me, is a call to even greater consciousness. I do get exactly what I put out there - yikes! The good thing is - if we don’t like the results of one request, we can always make a new one.

All I can say is - course corrections are available at all times. Thank goodness!

Blessings,
Andrea
Katie on March 10th, 2009 4:19 am

For the last few weeks I’ve been trying to figure out where my horrible insomnia has come from. It’s almost daily now, I sleep for about five hours and then for reasons beyond my control I HAVE to get up. Then when I lay back down my mind is already up and running a million miles a minute and I’ll lay there for hours without being able to go back to sleep. It’s like I’m getting an energy boost in the middle of my sleep cycle. Maybe that’s the best connection I have during the day to my intuition/subconscious but after a couple of weeks of this I began to seriously come unglued. I thought writing again would help. Drinking sleepytime tea would help. Meditating when I woke up like this would help. I’m still at a loss but am trying to go to bed earlier so at least I can get some rest.

Thank you for another insightful article. I’m not sure if this is what I’m going through right now but I’ve reached a point where I’m ready to take a step out of all of this. I need a break. =)
Slade Roberson on March 12th, 2009 7:42 pm

Barbara,

I definitely don’t want you to swing all the way in the other direction, too far, and have you planning on the Worst Case Scenario — just give yourself a break when your experience isn’t resonating with the Everything’s Peachy Crowd… When I’m feeling especially wicked and my tongue is a bit poisonous I call them the Unicorn People — or The Onesies…

}:-)

The pendulum swings both ways… Stay in the middle, swaying…

Emily,

My faith gives me a strange sort of emotional disconnection too. I believe maybe that IS a transcendent state, and really the best way to handle the ups and downs.

Jenny,

I am so pleased by the response to this post — I almost didn’t put it out, concerned that it might be a bit of a bummer and not “uplifting” enough or something… Another good lesson (for me) in speaking what I see, hear, feel — there’s usually a reason for it.

Angelic,

Glad the honesty came through — thanks for hearing what I intended!

Jo,

Writing it helped ME feel “Hey, this is ok, I can handle this and it is not just me!”

Tina,

“Stalemate” is a perfect word that I had NOT yet heard, but that definitely sums up the energy. (It’s more like thousands though, truthfully — I don’t have a million readers… YET!)

Rocking on…

DeStouet,

“One day at a time” may sound a little obvious, but you know, I think it’s absolutely the best way to process what you describe…

Anita,

I generally agree with you about the word Want — see, I gave that angle a spin last July — What’s wrong with what you want

This time around, in this context, I really did consciously choose want as in lack — because many of us ARE experiencing (potentially very physical) lack — the feelings are coming in with that word choice, and that emotion, and yes they can be reframed. Getting clear about what you may lack, want, desire — even when that means realizing you’re not lacking as much as you’re telling yourself — was the down-to-earth angle this time around.

Deb,

I ONLY hope to add something in a unique way, that maybe only I might say it, but that I know others are hearing/feeling too. So thank you for that!

I know the people who read what I put out specifically appreciate it that I’m a bit darker than the Rest.

Are you earthquake sensitive, by any chance? I know I am, and we only get minor ones around here…

Andrea,

Yes, yes, yes — I’m a big believer in changing my requests at the drop of a hat. I think getting better at recognizing when to say “Uh oh… Brake. Turn around. Cancel. Clear. Delete” is kind of this BRAVE aspect you have to have when you’re manifesting on high speed. The power requires a super flexibility…

Katie,

Sounds like you are right of the verge of the breakthrough — the point where I usually say “to hell with all this trying to fix stuff!” When I get There, and turn it over to the higher powers around me — when I really finally Give Up — that’s usually when I experience a shift.
Anne-Marie on March 28th, 2009 4:22 pm

Hey, Just a thank you for making me laugh Your descriptions of new age gurus was hilarious ! Will keep the “mystical cheerleaders” too… for future use. Love this wonderful adventure called life and one thing we should strive to always keep… humour