How Badly Do You Want It?

There seems to be this perception that identifying your passion is the hard part. Once you really nail that down and put your energy into something you truly love — can’t live without doing — it all “flows.”

The flow, free of obstacles, is somehow the ultimate judgment on your choice and your efforts.

And then, here comes that video of Oprah talking about “failure” as simply helpful information trying to move you in another direction.

(I happily shared the video on Facebook; in the moment I thought it was a great message for anyone feeling overwhelmed and burnt out…)

But, wait — if it’s not going well, I must be doing it wrong, right? Some higher power must be trying to move me in another direction. So, where do we put all the success stories about perseverance, about all the people who didn’t get it right on the first or second or third tries?

All this sounds good in new age theory, but it is not my personal reality.

  • My website has been hacked multiple times this year — I don’t take that as a “sign” I should simply abandon ten years’ worth of published writing and twenty thousand readers and go off in another direction.
  • My last non-fiction book launch—Manifest Anything—suffered from technical difficulties and every planet you can name in retrograde — I have a catalogue of other books to release. That passion hasn’t changed. It’s still the direction I need to go.
  • My latest novel — Havenwood — is the Big One. I’ve put out non-fiction and novella-length fiction, but I’ve never written and released an epic, 175,000 word historical fantasy novel. This is “I-want-to-be-a-writer-when-I-grow-up” Big… and a big formatting disaster.

A life-long dream. A passion.

After nineteen months of work, I imported the final edits for the formatting stage, and… The text is jacked up with errors and random code.

It’s my “passion.” And it ain’t “flowing.”

Sometimes I think the Universe is sparring with me. Egging me on. Testing me.


More than all your potholes and razor wire, Universe.

It’s not the first time I’ve crawled out of a ditch and crossed the finish line bruised and bloodied.

It won’t be the last.

F your flow, Universe. F your flow.

This message was brought to you by Perseverance.