You slap the snooze bar on your alarm clock. What does this accomplish? It delays your waking up and starting your day. A snooze slap here and there won't diminish the ultimate goal of the alarm, but employ it too many times, and what happens? The effectiveness of the alarm -- the whole point of setting an alarm in the first place -- begins to work against itself, against you.
Your intention may go beyond failure to create more challenges.
It's inevitable -- that alarm is going to go off again. Repetition only increases the number of times you feel the anxiety associated with an alarm; the stress accumulates.
Fear is also a useful alarm -- a wake-up call, a red flag -- something requires your attention. Do you slap the imaginary bar on top of your fears? Fear is an emotional response to a lack of information. When you have the necessary information to take action, then you're not afraid -- you shift into bravery. Courage is not the absence of fear.
Because fear creates an undesirable emotional response, you attach the emotion to the Thing that requires your attention, and you avoid it -- the Thing you don't want to engage. What does that solve? Your immediate emotional state (maybe). Does it empower you to take action? No, it inhibits you, delays the inevitable, puts off the information gathering that will allow you to transform the situation.
What are you afraid of? How can you respond to fear as a practical tool?
- Acknowledge the alarm -- wake up. Take note of what requires your attention.
- Separate the emotional response from the Thing itself. The awful feeling in the pit of your stomach or the chemicals flooding your brain are the alarm bleeping -- it's the wake-up call, not what you stand to gain from heeding that call.
- Shift into your intellect -- into a mode of pure curiosity. Put your thinking cap on. Become a scientist, a researcher, a student of the Thing you fear. Detach from the emotional response (turn off the alarm) and seek purely intellectual information.
Information is power -- grow your power by feeding it facts. Terrified that your bank balance may be teetering on the edge between Black and Red? You can't take strategic action without knowing the numbers. Snoozing the alarm, writing another check, not sure if it will clear but crossing your fingers, insures that the alarm will go off again… Covering your eyes and not looking as you swipe the check card is snoozing -- it insures yet another hateful wake-up call.
That uncertainty -- the ignorance of the cold hard facts -- is what makes you afraid. Numbers can't hurt you.
Are you afraid your wife is pissed off at you? Don't know why? Afraid to know? Avoiding finding out? How can you be sure it's something you did if you don't find out from the source? Ask her. It may not be anything you did that upset her… stop the alarm and have a conversation -- find out the source of the alarm. Something requires your assistance or attention. The facts in themselves are data, they have no emotions.
Stop snoozing in your relationship and treading on eggshells wondering what the problem might be.
How have you transformed the blaring alarm of fear into attention and action powered by more information? Help me out by sharing your own real world example in the comments below.
Fear is a Question mark. Fear is an assignment from your Higher Self. Before you release your fear, allow yourself to spend some time being intensely -- dispassionately -- curious about it.
What can you do about the paralyzing emotional and biological experience of fear? So that you can be curious about what your fears want you to pay attention to, to learn from... I recommend Jeff Lily's audio download Meditation to Release Fear -- from the Druid Journal Guided Meditation Series