On March 17, 2009 I had a vision -- that word sounds almost silly, doesn't it? I can't find a better one.
I had a vision of golden light.
I was in bed reading and waiting to slip into the very specific state of consciousness that comes sometimes before actual sleep. This state is a delicious, deep, instantaneous moment that probably lasts seconds in real time but feels like an hour. The thoughts on the page move seamlessly -- bleed into -- another channel where I am no longer receiving prompts from the words I am reading, yet I am following a new strain of information in a similar way. It's like sinking down into a pool to retrieve a penny -- once I realize consciously that I have landed on the bottom, that I'm holding my breath and running out of time, I will open my inner eye, spot what I am meant to see, grab it, and kick off back to the surface.
Back in my body, I repeat the message to myself so that it crosses over and won't be lost. I place my bookmark, turn out my light, reposition my pillows, and then I roll over and prepare to actually go to sleep. This brief, lucid state is like a news broadcast I must view before I am content enough to release and end the day.
The observations that occur in this hypnotic state are usually extremely rich, lucid, and easy to retrieve without having to write anything down, as might be the case with dreams. The details are never vague or prone to fall apart, as dream logic will in the light of day.
These visions make sense, and continue to make sense, as I carry them around me in my wakeful daily life. Indeed, I most often induce these states the night before I work on a reading for someone, as they are like prologues to the information I will channel in the morning immediately after getting up.
When I have an evening's impulses to myself -- meaning, no readings scheduled or intentions to retrieve for other people -- I ask specific questions to be answered just before crawling into bed. The vision is like the book jacket, the first page, and I can continue "reading" immediately upon waking.
So, on this night I want to tell you about, I was in this "trance," and aware that only my left inner eye was open -- my right eye was covered or blacked out, like looking through an optometrist's contraption during an eye exam. I saw what I had asked to see and was just preparing to come up, and out, satisfied with some personal nugget I was hoping for when I heard:
WAIT! HERE'S THE OTHER HALF OF YOUR POWER!
This came from what I call my Aslan Voice -- it's a booming male voice that is not one of my guides (my primary spirit guide is female) and it's not one of my ego or my still small voice (the ones that sound like me) and it's not an interior clairaudient impulse (seeming to come from within the mind)...
This is a Voice that must be capitalized -- it is experienced as undoubtedly external; it seems to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once; and it is so loud and shocking that when I hear it I jump out of my skin. This is a Voice that only comes unbidden, is always a surprise, and shows up very rarely -- maybe a few dozen times in my whole life. On most of the occasions when I've heard this Voice I was a child, and it was usually to warn me away from danger.
This Voice is terrible in some Old Testament use of the adjective -- like the Terrible Beauty of the Face of God, or the Great and Terrible Oz...
DON'T GO IN THERE! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! STOP!
These commands are protective, parental, benevolent, and authoritative (and have literally saved both me and my little brother from certain physical death) but they SCARE the HELL of me. I freeze. Adrenalin flood gates open. My heart pounds. The temperature changes over my entire body. Sometimes I cry out in an embarrassing, uncontrollable way. And I tremble for at least five minutes afterward.
(My Daddy tells a delicious story of being saved by this Voice when he was in Vietnam... Another time for that, I'd like to have it in his words... My mother and my brother are generally intuitive in the way that I am -- the Aslan Voice is something that only my father has experienced and I wonder sometimes if I have "inherited" it...)
I haven't heard this Voice in about five years -- not once since I began publishing Shift Your Spirits. (A good thing, too; as far as clairaudient experiences go, I definitely categorize this type as undesirable.) The last time I heard this Voice was when I first read about the Technological Singularity and was told that I would never be depressed again nor would I ever be afraid of death -- irrevocably freed from those fears, liberated by a certainty.
"HERE'S THE OTHER HALF OF YOUR POWER"
The right inner eye opened... I thought Oh My GOD, what IS that? It was like what you see through closed eyelids when you turn your face toward the sun. It was like viewing something larger and more infinite than the sun through a peephole in a door... A universe of golden light.
I didn't know if I was meant to somehow grab it and take it with me or if I was only supposed to see it, because I was blasted away from it as quickly as I glimpsed it -- a shock wave woke me. I reached for it as I resurfaced but it was like a coin still falling underwater, swinging and flipping in that peculiar, pendular way that evades a predictable trajectory that would allow you to catch it.
"The Other Half of My Power" -- Is power so simply quantifiable? You mean I'm accessing 50% of my power already?! That's surprisingly good news... I would've thought I had a handle on about 2% or something... Is it that big part of the human brain we supposedly don't use? Is it in the dormant fragments of our DNA which have been mysteriously switched off?
Where is this Other Part and how do I access it? I've been walking around for weeks haunted by this -- but remarkably calm about it. Okay (I think most of the time) with the Mystery of it.
I alternate between wanting desperately to articulate it and feeling absolutely no urgency to do so. For over a month now I've felt like I know some Great Secret that I want to tell strangers on the street with a crazy grin on my face. There is a part of me groping around for it on hands and knees, like it's a diamond dropped in weeds, or a contact lens in shag carpet, or like it lives in a box in an attic in some house that could be anywhere on the planet and I didn't catch the address.
But it feels... enough... to know it's There.
Interpretations Basic, generally held, popular aura color interpretations suggest the gold is Christ Consciousness (don't squirm if you're not Christian -- technically neither am I and neither was He -- and this isn't just about Jesus. This is a concept that certainly includes the Big J, and resonates with answers to "WWJD?" without a doubt -- but I truly believe it extends beyond any individual ascended master to include all human potential...)
Golden light is also about creativity, artistic ability, deep insight, performance, enlightenment, extreme happiness, and personal riches.
The Right Side indicates that it is projective power -- not something for me to receive, but something I hold that can be expressed, shared, given, put out...
I finally broke down and talked to my best friend about it yesterday afternoon (forgive me, it's so annoying to expect people to listen to elaborations on dreams and visions that mean nothing except to the person who's doing the telling). As soon as I had tried to describe it, last night I began to receive a flood of information from multiple sources -- in emails from my readers, in a newsletter message about Kabbalah, in whisperings from my guides.
Make me a vessel, I said. Give me some message I can pass on to others.
The Message for You
About your golden light, about the other half of your power
It is a divine technology, that provides you protection, energy, and grace.
To manifest it in your life you must first understand that it represents the unique creative divinity, gifts, and talents you carry with you into this incarnation. This power was given to you so that you may share it.
This week -- just for at least this one week -- devote yourself to finding your unique talent without jealously considering, examining, or comparing it to other people's talents.
Their talents are not yours, and they were never meant to be acquired or copied or borrowed or modeled...
What is it? What you seek is something different from all that -- unique to you and only you -- waiting only for you to rediscover it. That unique Something, whatever it is, will bring you a sense of purpose, joy, and fulfillment.
You actually know what it is -- it's a dream so important that you may hide it (even from your conscious self) seeking to protect it. It's the Thing you keep assigning to Someday, the Thing you inadvertently preserve with procrastination, the Thing you can't bear to fail at, and the Thing you can't leave here without trying.
It's a piece of your soul so dear you can't risk it -- yet it's the one thing you must risk. It's so Big and it's so Personal, you may not even have dared to dream you could manifest it.
It's the Thing that will energize every facet of your existence -- it's actually protected and powered in a way no other part of your life ever has been or ever will be.
This week, set in motion even one tiny action that breaks through the fear of its not being true for you -- bring it out into the light of day and acknowledge it. Give it words in a way you never have before. Look in the mirror, and confess it to yourself.
Image credit Michele Catania via Creative Commons on Flickr