Obviously, there are short-comings within the unconscious language of desire; beyond that is simply the issue of empowerment within the context of undesirable, challenging, or even tragic circumstances. When was the last time you consciously wanted or desired something unpleasant? Uh, like... never.
What's Wrong with Words Wanting something, needing something, is by definition lacking it. I'm always contemplating powers of manifestation and laws of attraction within the context of language -- how language can certainly enhance your power, but also how it often insidiously detracts. The word choices you make when you speak and write are indications of the same subtle nuances of language with which you think and form thoughts. Those thought-forms are your invoices to the Universe -- the framework of your intentions can be shaky or even subversive, carrying microscopic cancers that subconsciously sabotage your will, quietly, over time, little by little.
One general prescription I'd like to share with you is reframing what you want in terms of who you want to become. Who you are becoming. Who you are.
In the last few years, we've all heard so much about the power of gratitude and how your intentions magnify and attract whatever you focus on. Whatever you place on the throne of your attention is what you get. So, if you focus on a list of what you want and what you need, you're always identifying what you lack.
You Want Only Good The list of what you want, need, require -- it's all good stuff, isn't it? Who wishes for undesirable things? Who wants to invite challenging circumstances into their lives? Who asks to attract relationships with people who are not good for you? Who consciously wills disasters for life lessons?
I personally think telling someone suffering from cancer that she manifested her disease is hatefully oversimplifying a very complex set of circumstances. It strays into helpless, "religious" notions of a judgmental god who micromanages and punishes a person for her very thoughts. (I need to save my further thoughts on this part of the conversation for another time... First, I need to go explain to a grasshopper that he manifested my lawnmower.)
The reality is that you experience tons of undesirables across the course of your life. Without trying. You probably feel like a real pro when it comes to getting what you don't want.
You've worked hard at developing a philosophical resignation or reframing process that allows you to bless the most difficult aspects of your life as part of your mission:
- You learn from your mistakes
- You identify patterns of behavior and consciously, willfully break them or behave your way into new responses and better courses of action
- You see the double-edged sword that bears Victim on one side and Victor on the other
That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Your battle scars are badges of honor.
With all the wonderful spiritual benefits of terrible things, why don't you wake up every day muttering mantras of more doom and hardship?
When was the last time you thought "I want… something heartbreaking to occur today." "I need … an incurable disease to kick my ass toward a sense of simple joy and profound purpose." "I sure wish the universe would send me…another co-dependent, unhealthy relationship."
Your most challenging moments are what defines you -- your senses of empowerment and spiritual development become most apparent during the tests, trials, and tribulations. I heard Cheryl Richardson say something to the effect of "I think we can all agree that we didn't come here to drive SUVs and go to the mall."
Whether you consciously realize it or not, what you really want is not about what you need, what you hope to have, or what you wish to acquire, so much as your journey is about who you become.
And who you are becoming is who you are -- you are already everything you've ever wanted to become. Your authentic self is a seed within you which you uncover, expose, allow to grow from your core. Who you are, who you become in this life is already here in some form.
Think about the relationship between what you want to have and who you hope to become -- who you can be, who are you when everything is just peachy, and who are you in spite of whatever shit you're given to work through?
Another word for shit is compost, and gardeners have a wonderful understanding of how one reframes its value. It enriches the soil. And maybe that's another way to get grounded.