Could these Heavenly Downloads -- these spiritual shifts, program updates, and rearrangements -- be analogous to birth contractions? The miracle of life, rebirth, and change can be a great source of joy in the long term, but in the short term, shouldn't you expect some serious (perhaps escalating) waves of discomfort? Invoking the Goddess Kali can bring a serious mixed bag of blessings -- I don't know why she's depicted wearing a chain of human skulls as a necklace instead of swinging one like a wrecking ball. It's easy to forget that Change, as the primary Engine of Creation, comes with built-in destructive (and de-constructive) forces. Order is made from chaos.
Before you go to bed at night you pray for a new life to be built out of existing materials -- you P.S. the "Make it so" with "Make it quick!" -- but you still wake up horrified at the sound of dynamite. The Really Big Changes are usually not renovations -- they are condemnations with tear-downs as a first phase.
The Collective Change we can believe in, a New World Order, the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius, the Birth of the New Earth, Ascension, Apocalypse...
Yeah, so we're pregnant. We've known this for a while now, right? We've been celebrating and expanding with our potential... Seems like our water broke recently, huh? Are we feeling the labor pains?
The birth is imminent, so we're inevitably waiting or pushing... or just breathing in between.
The Personal I'm not good at the in between bits. I'm incredibly willful and pretty damn comfortable at this point in my life with that aspect of myself. I like to push. I like to make things happen. I like momentum and forward motion, even when it feels reckless, dangerous... at least it feels alive. I generally suck at surrendering, being patient, and waiting to exhale. I'd probably choose an uphill battle with a goal on top or a high speed downhill chase with no brakes over a treadmill any day.
Even though I may intellectually recognize the microcosmic parallel of my life to the Collective -- that I'm not alone in these processes of change -- I nevertheless experience it in an incredibly lonely, personal way.
How are the details of the Big Changes taking place manifesting for you? Because the personal bits are the only parts that you can hope to affect or experience. You've got your own crumbs to carry. As the Universal Lego set gets broken up and handed out, you only get a handful of the bricks to work with. What madness have you constructed?
- Right now, during this bizarre stage of y/our evolution, a lot of things that have not been right for a long time are up for review -- demanding that you clear them out or at least correct them before going forward.
- Any structures you have in place that lack integrity are being flagged to come down. Hard as it may be to put yourself in the right perspective, consider painful alarms and warning bells as blessings -- alerting you to weaknesses that need to be revised, corrected, or thrown out to make way for something better.
- Circumstances and environments and behavior patterns where you misuse (or possibly waste) your energy are grinding to a halt, or at least losing momentum.
- Actions motivated by your ego-driven thinking mind are becoming difficult to catch or to control. Does it seem like you've dangerously reverted? Or does feel like two-steps-forward/one-step-back?
- Your affirmations don't seem to be doing you a damned bit of good when it comes to tuning out the voices of fear. You're muttering to yourself like some crazy street oracle, but it just doesn't seem to be working as well as it has in the past, does it?
- You're blessing everything in sight, in a desperate invocation of gratitude, and somehow that's making you feel just the opposite of grateful -- and guilty about that whole inverted spiral.
What the hell are you supposed to do? If you can relate to these experiences, at this moment in time, you aren't supposed to be doing anything. Don't try to make life-changing decisions or take action.
Use this as an opportunity to:
- Evaluate and plan, prior to the next wave of change energy.
- Get clear about your priorities.
- If something's not working for you, stop working it (at least entertain what it might feel like to stop).
- If you're running into walls, stand back, catch a breath, and see if there isn't an opening you're missing in your haste to move only forward.
- If you're feeling overwhelmed, make a list of whom you might ask for help.
- If you're stagnant, take a look at what your procrastination may be pointing to. Reconnect with a dream you pushed aside for some "better" future.
Honestly, I'm not keen on ranting like some End Times preacher (or news anchor, for that matter) prophesying doom and gloom. Neither am I into playing the mouthpiece like one of those New Age gurus with a glassy look in the eyes who sounds like he just ate some mushrooms. You know the Ones -- their messages are liberally dosed with vocabulary that sounds like a bad science fiction script and Every Other Word gets Capitalized -- "Lighworkers are Being Called to Hold Hands Around the Globe and Hum Together as One with the Hosts of Heaven and the Father-Mother God in Shifting the Planet to the Next Vibration of the Galactic Alignment that will Usher in a Utopian Age of Quantum Bliss."
(I just gagged on that a little bit... Did you?)
Seriously, I shouldn't disparage these authors so cruelly, because even though I aspire to pin the words down somewhere closer to grounded, a good portion of the time I do Get what they're trying to describe. I'm probably (technically) one of these mystical cheerleaders, as much as I hate to admit it. I'm certainly more Out There than Anderson Cooper.
This Shit is hard to articulate! It's neither as terrible or as glorious as either manic extreme might make it out to be. But I do believe it -- Something Big -- is happening and, yes, I do feel it. I feel confident that, if I chose to, I could even approach this evolution of human consciousness from an agnostic, woo woo-free perspective. What we're experiencing is as much about technology and global society as it is about God.
I received no less than twenty-five emails this week from readers who feel like they are coming unglued -- and I know that means there could be twenty-five hundred who feel the same way and are suffering in silence. For me, the greatest challenges in producing a blog like this on a regular basis is finding a reasonable middle ground between everyday reality and the mystical -- between addressing the panic and pessimism that many people genuinely feel and wearing some crazy Happy Face mask of Magically Delicious News that you can't relate to.
The emails I received all used words like overwhelmed, anxious, stuck, scattered, confused. I apologize that I can't respond to them all individually... My advice right now is:
Breathe. And contemplate the following questions:
- "What do I truly want?"
- "What's the next most obvious step to get me where I want to go?"
- "What are the most important things in my world?"
- "Am I living my life in a way that honors what really matters to me?"
Wait for the signal to push again. You can't miss it. You'll feel it.... And don't mind the mess. It's part of the process.
Kali image by Nico Nelson via Creative Commons on Flickr