Life Purpose

Why I Blog - Big Mission for An Ugly Little Word

The Question "Why do I blog?" might as well be a prompt to write my autobiography! But the super short answer is that I blog in service to Ascended Master Mother Mary.

Weaving My Words into the Web I've been "tagged" by the author of DruidJournal to write a post about Why I Blog. Tagging is the blogosphere's version of Show-n-Tell meets Composition Class meets...well, a game of Tag.

Jeff Lilly writes that he blogs because Apollo told him to. I blog because the Virgin Mary told me to.

Like Jeff -- a self-identified druid in service to a Greek god -- you may wonder what a Wiccan - Shaman - Clairaudient - Medium - Big - Mouth - Heretic - Punk - Rock - Preacher is doing taking direction from the Mother of Jesus. I mean, I'm hardly Catholic - I do not identify as Christian. Mary Herself points out to many of her devotees and visionaries that She ain't Catholic or Christian either.

Don't send me hate mail, Xians -- this is just a fact: neither Jesus or Mary could POSSIBLY be members of a religious affiliation that did not exist in their lifetimes. This does not affect their exalted position in human religion; nor does it detract from their spiritual status. So, just chill, y'all. I know Jesus. I love Jesus. His Mama and I talk all the time.

The Truth -- the Mystery -- is bigger than any of the names we choose to slap on it.

I think there's an enormous Message for all of us underlying the phenomenon of cross-pollinated spiritual paths -- world culture is blending to a degree that we've never known before. The Truth is threaded throughout all faiths -- it is literally a web of Mysteries and Wisdoms -- it is called by many names in many human languages.

The Mother Goddess has many faces. She wears her BVM drag for me. That's another story - a memoir I am feverishly working to complete, called Answering to Mary.

The Lightworkers are Gathering It is no accident that I discovered Jeff by way of the community of Lightworkers that cross paths with the Pavlinas. Erin Pavlina also made a similar decision in 2006 to step consciously forward into her life purpose as a medium. It seems that at least the three of us (and probably countless others I don't know about) were approaching a very similar crossroads within months of one another.

The synchronicity that stands out most for me is not only that many people would be given a similar spiritual ultimatum at a close point in time, or that we seem to have responded so similarly to the Call, but that we chose such strikingly similar vehicles and mediums within which to work.

Are you aware that Heaven has a Congress? What my spirit guides call the Congress I have learned is called by other names: the Council, the Emissaries of the Third Ray, the Hosts of Heaven… Lightworkers have been receiving instruction for who knows how long, but there are a couple of points in recent history where the spikes in the signal - the Call - from the Ascended Masters got cranked up in a major way.

What was going on one year ago? Last year - 2006 - something shifted. The volume got turned way up. The degree of transformation that my life underwent between the last two Januarys blows my mind when I look back along my Shifting Path.

Yes, I do believe it all has something to do with the New Age, the Ascension of Mankind, the Rapture of the Nerds ( the Technological Singularity), and the New Earth.

What did you start manifesting 7 years ago? I first "went" to the Congress on New Year's Eve 1999-2000 (the Millenium). Unlike Jeff and Erin, I flat out SUCK at lucid dreaming and meditation, although I do receive the clearest directive from my spirit guides immediately upon waking up. I connect with Spirit in a Joan of Arc-style form of divine chit-chat -- I am an open channel -- what parapsychologists call a clairaudient intuitive -- I hear shit.

The Millenium itself was significant because our attention made it so. I was wide open that evening to the awareness of how powerful it is when SO many people are thinking about the same thing at the same time. The Power of Prayer. Manifestation. The Secret.

You might picture this as receiving a computer-animated graphic visualization of what the energy of human harmonic convergence looks like -- if you were in earth orbit, like a communications satellite or the international space station, and you were watching the world roll by beneath you, and you could physically SEE the energy of people thinking the same thing at the same time...

That Big Thought was simply a conscious awareness of the New Millenium -- and I saw? heard? felt? it move across the world in waves. You've experienced something similar when you've stood outside on New Year's Eve or the Fourth of July -- the slight delay in the sound of fireworks and cheers and cars honking, as it spreads across the soundscape… Or maybe you've been outside at a large concert event, where monitors and loudspeakers are spaced out across acres, and you can physically hear the sound of the person speaking at the mic arriving at different sets of speakers at slightly different times.

At the Millenial New Year's Eve I was physically at Short Mountain Sanctuary, one of many such places where Radical Faeries and neo-pagans have enormous Gatherings to celebrate the Solstices and the Equinoxes and other major Calendar points -- much in the way that human beings have gathered since the dawn of human history. (Think the Burning Man Gathering for the most mainstream, contemporary image...)

To make this long story a little shorter, let me move on.

Where Was I? The Congress is an astral place where the Ascended Masters and human Lightworkers gather en masse -- I experience this other-worldly place as being a similar type of event, like a huge outdoor concert -- like Lollapalooza, or Bonaroo, or Woodstock, Farm-Aid, Live-Aid. Now mix in the United Nations, and blow it out with more souls than you can wrap your mind around.

Here's an excerpt from an email I sent Jeff about the Congress, astral travel, and lucid dreaming:

I honestly have my dreamtime schedule so full that it's not that I don't have deep and profound experiences happening during my sleeping. I have on-going, intense healing activities that take place when I sleep. I have sort of re-routed some major activities, programming myself to under-go passive angelic healing during my sleep. I spend my unconscious hours in a kind of "clinic" by default where I am worked on by doctors on the other side. It's almost like chemo-treatments or something. I've been undergoing these treatments for 6 years. I assume that this is what's going on by default during my deep REM cycles.

During my "surfacing" sleep cycles, I go to a place called the Congress. You've heard a lot of deep trance channels talk about The Masters, The Emissaries of the Third Ray, there are some other names... I experience astral travels to this place on a pretty regular basis. I receive conscious updates from this Spirit Collective between 4am and 6am. If I have Messages to bring into my waking day, they are playing immediately upon waking.

So basically, I am very busy when I'm unconscious - I just don't have the usual fun, flighty, drug-trip experiences most people have. I don't feel badly about this. I still have an active, practical connection going on... I just don't seem to have room to introduce other intentional dream activities. Like for instance, lucid dreaming. I believe that's just a given. I rarely have any kind of dream activity I wouldn't consider lucid. So, I think what happens when I attempt lucid dreaming techniques is like asking my Guides to stop at the Foyer and hang out, instead of going all the way in...

The Congress -- Heaven's C-SPAN The Congress is like a 24 hour broadcast of a network of astral beings, angelic entities, spirit guides, mediums, human lightworkers. It's like a news-feed for the Collective Conscious -- there's always a bazillion souls hanging out in there, and there's always a Speaker -- someone who "has the floor" -- sometimes it's someone droning on, grandstanding, and I am more fascinated by those closest to me, the other souls immediately present next to me in the crowd.

The Pope Was There On several occasions, I experienced the Congress when the late beloved Pope John Paul, also a Marian devotee, was Speaking. I usually do not recognize the Speakers, and more often than not they communicate in a particular language, many of which I do not understand, but sometimes a person near me in the crowd will translate or generally let me know what's being talked about.

And YOU Were There... Many people have written to me or told me about dreams and visions which take place in an astral landscape or monumental building that resembles what I call the Congress.

For now, we must fast-forward through my personal Blessed Virgin Mother visitation. When I was considering starting this blog a year ago, I had been consciously aware of my active service to Her for about three years, struggling to find the courage to express Her purpose for me.

Dr. Meg Was There... Exactly one year ago, my dear friend John invited me to attend a group session in Atlanta led by deep-trance channel Dr. Meg Blackburn Losey. I'd never been to an event like that before; my spirit guides directed me to accept the invitation because I was to pick up some further important direction from the Ascended Masters that speak through Dr. Meg.

Before she went into her trance, Meg asked for questions from the group, and being at that point in my life [TOTALLY in the closet about my clairaudience] I grilled her about her personal role as a medium.

I don't know what John and the other people present experienced, but once the trance began and the Masters entered the space, I immediately recognized where we were -- the Congress.

I've described the two dozen or so in attendance that night as being like toddlers at a sandbox, with our spirit guides standing around us like proud parents or nannies watching us all play together. I recognized a LOT of the people who were physically present. I knew them.

Like Erin Pavlina's ultimatum from her guides, that she must step into her life purpose or risk fading away into a purely Third Dimensional existence, the Masters spoke directly to me with this Message:

"How long do you intend to stay in your Tower? You've worked so hard -- alone -- for so long to reach the place where you Know what you do. Now that you know, how long do you intend to keep this information to yourself, when so many others can benefit from your sharing it?"

And they gave this Message to the whole group, multiple times:

"You are already everything you've ever wanted to become. You fulfill your life purpose with every breath you take. You are the way by which God experiences itself."

There is so much more to this story. As with every article I post here, I am only scratching the surface, chasing after the longer, on-going story of my life, and the Messages for all of us.

I am communicating with spirit, all the time. You are communicating with spirit, too.

This web site -- this broadcast channel -- this techno-vessel is just one of the strands of the Web where we communicate. This is just my thread in the tapestry of the Stories and the Mysteries. At any time, you may weave the silver cord and the sky blue hyperlinks of your own voice into this Chorus of Consciousness, this great big ball of conversation we call the Web.

Doesn't It Sound Enormous? Way too big for such an ugly little word --blog.

Seek Wisdom - Practice Love

You're IT, Mandy! Gosh, where to go from here with the whole Why I Blog Tag Game? Jeff and I took it Out There... Starman and Major Tom...

There's someone I can call for a little Ground Control

My Journaling Mentor Mandy Markham Johnson -- I've truly been meaning to ask you.

Jesus Loves the Little Heathen of The World

slade-bible-school.jpg

Tales of A Third Grade Heretic — Part 1

When I was seven years old, I asked my parents to let me attend a Christian institution known as Vacation Bible School. I was as an easy recruit (initially) for Church-sponsored functions — I heard beyond the promised hype of craft projects and pizza socials — I was hungry for hard-core religious experience.

My serious dedication is evidenced by the above Perfect Attendance Certificate I scanned from my mother's records and included here.

Church-Sanctioned Spirit Possession

Someone had explained to me the Southern Baptist phenomenon of Being Saved, in which any average child on Earth can experience a life-long form of holy possession by the Son of God Himself — simply by asking for it.

This was incredible news! I already knew I was protected by an enormously tall lady who looked like Catwoman in a nightgown — my little brother and I lived in a house we knew to be haunted, had seen ghosts several times, regularly encountered a White Cat that was not a cat at all, and no child ever believed in, stalked, and engaged with fairies more than me.

Not only did I applaud my belief in fairies to save Tinkerbell when Peter Pan came on TV, I dressed up in full green Peter Pan attire — green tights and felt elf shoes — one of a handful of "Halloween" costumes that I found reason to wear on several other occasions throughout the year. Considering that I had never set foot in a Catholic Church until I was 19, my intense longing from the age of 5 to "go as" a Catholic Priest or Franciscan Monk for Halloween does make me question the notion of past-life memories.

Born Pagan

Margot Adler, in her incredible work on modern Neo-Paganism Drawing Down the Moon, finds a common thread among the witches she interviewed — an instinct for engaging in spontaneous ritual theater at a very early age, despite socialization toward any particular religious tradition.

I certainly built enough henges in the woods behind our house, charged enough mystical paraphernalia — wands, crystals, arrowheads, amulets, potion bottles — and entertained an audience of invisible spirit guides and guardian angels with an artistic commitment and devotion only rivaled by my current blogging schedule...

And while all these mystical experiences would be quickly dismissed or, at best, patronized by adults — and I knew not to discuss such things with unsympathetic audiences — here was a similar magical experience that was not only socially-acceptable, it was praised, encouraged — an absolute sin if you missed out on it.

You didn't need to tell me twice — sign me up!

As if that wasn't promising enough, the Baptist Church attended by most families in our neighborhood was called Mars Hill — which I took as an affirmation of my desire to one day be part of the future mission to colonize the Red Planet. I really thought Being Saved would propel me in my aspirations to become a Priest and an Astronaut — simultaneously!

Yes, it took me three decades to renovate the disappointment...

It would be a few years before I came to understand that in polite white Christian America, there is a thin line between piety and stigma. You're supposed to be a good Christian — but you're not supposed to be too good AT it.

Damned if You Do

The same behavior that defines the believer also damns the mystic.

  • Believe in God, pray every day — just don't tell anyone if He answers you
  • Stand up in Church and sing — but without emotion or fervor — do not speak in tongues or writhe in ecstasy — if by chance you really FEEL something, for God's sake, keep it to yourself
  • Do not rest until you've forced your belief on everyone you encounter — but don't make the mistake of behaving like you mean it — ask What Would Jesus Do? and if all else fails, set an example of what NOT to do by reminding everyone what judgment feels like

It never occurred to me that witches shouldn't attend Sunday School. Apparently — Thank God — it still hasn't.

Stay tuned for more confessions of humor and hypocrisy in (the still as yet unwritten) Part 2 of Tales of A Third Grade Heretic, in which I raise my hand and open my big mouth to undermine the teachings of the Southern Baptist Church by asking Sunday School teachers to address challenging philosophical questions like

  • "Is Mother Nature God's Wife?"
  • "How can it be Heaven if our pets aren't there?"
  • "If God didn't want Adam and Eve to eat those Trees, why didn't He plant them somewhere else?"

And find out why I got sent to the Church Psychologist for portraying Adam and Eve in the buff — after my naive, passionate artistic response to the assignment "Create Your Own Illustrations for Bible Stories."

Seek Wisdom - Practice Love

You Might Be A Lightworker If...

In her book, The Lightworker's Way, Doreen Virtue defines Lightworkers as "those who volunteered before birth to help people and the planet heal from the effects of fear."

She also includes a handy checklist that may resonate with you.

You might be a Lightworker if you:

  • Feel called to heal
  • Feel called to solve social and environmental problems
  • Believe spiritual methods can heal
  • Have had mystical experiences - such as psychic premonitions, angelic encounters or interventions
  • Endured harsh life experience, conditions, or circumstances that have eroded your knowledge of divine perfection, yet the feeling that there is Higher Benevolent Power at work in the Universe persists, in spite of all this
  • Want to heal your own life and then the world around you
  • Feel compelled to write, teach, or counsel others
  • Know in your heart that you are here for a Purpose, even if you are unsure what that purpose is, exactly

The Lightworker's Calling is A Commitment

I must say that I have personally experienced and believe it to be true for others as well: that if you are called to the Lightworker's Way, then returning to your spiritual path and defining your life's purpose is imminent and must be answered to.

You must answer the call to stand in your highest integrity and use your life to serve the greater good - it will not just go away because you are afraid of it, the time isn't right, or you feel like changing your mind…

This awareness will persist - the call will become incessant, like a phone ringing and ringing and never going to voicemail. You may feel that everything else you try to accomplish is blocked or just never seems to pan out…

When you step out of your own shadow and begin to live your life with a selfless, spiritual agenda, you will experience the opposite of struggle. The very things that you fear won't be received well by others, or that might cause you to be judged unfairly, or that will bring more poverty and hardship - you must push past that ego-centered thinking - your difficulties will seem to magically reverse.

Lightworker's Amnesia

Many of us experience a kind of Amnesia - possibly for much of, or for large periods of, our lives - as the result of difficult life experiences, or what is considered "normal" social conditioning.

Erin Pavlina is one other medium I know of who also blogs about Spirituality and Life Purpose, and she specializes in helping people remember where they come from.

Lightworker's Mantras and Affirmations:

Where you stumble, there your treasure lies.

Joseph Campbell

On the other side of your fears you will find your fortune.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Dr. Seuss

Your Life Purpose Is Not A J-O-B

Your Calling is not necessarily a career.

A few important points I'd like to clarify about identifying your life purpose:

Healing: Loosely Defined

Define heal in the broadest possible context. Healing is not limited to medical, clinical, scientific, or purely physical professions. Healing power is not limited in the form or media you choose as its vehicle or vessel.

I only very recently discovered that Words heal. This may seem obvious, given the professions of teaching, preaching, and counseling, but it is so much easier to see the content and context of other people's lives than it is to identify our own grace and power. For someone whose life theme revolves around writing and speaking, and who has spent these gifts primarily as a diarist and a writer of fiction for most of his life, the concept that words heal - that my words heal - was an absolute epiphany.

Your life purpose is not a job.

Do not confuse your mission in life with a job or a single, organized and defined profession or industry.

You life theme, your mission, your gifts, your passions are the things that always come through you, sometimes in spite of the job you do. Your purpose is the unique collection of Stuff you bring to any situation or circumstance. You actually don't have to try to pull out and execute your mission - it finds you. People feel it and respond to it, even when you are ignoring it, hiding it, or just not conscious of it.

Whatever It is, you're already doing it.

Your life purpose is not One Thing.

Your mission, your reason for being Here, is a synthesis and a synergy of everything you already are. Even the things that break your heart - even the things you hate about yourself or consider flaws - they are all ingredients in a unique recipe that is You.

Feel like you can't see the forest for the trees?

Does identifying your life purpose feel like you're looking for the perfect tree, considering each tree individually, and trying to decide which one is the right one to climb?

No one tree seems to be It, does it? You feel like you could spend your whole life trying out each tree, and you're afraid of wasting time, only to keep discovering

"That's not it... That wasn't the right one either... This one looks perfect, but the last time I thought that, it snapped like a twig..."

Back up, Goldilocks - there is no perfect bowl of porridge, there is no just right bed for you to find, there is no one tree to build your forthouse in...

Jobs may be individual trees, relationships may be too - You can't see the forest for the trees, and what you may not realize is that You are The Forest.

The whole danged wood is yours to name, claim, and explore.

If you're looking to go with the Flow, then maybe a watery metaphor will better serve you.

Rumi wrote one of my all time favorite mantras to this effect:

Give up the drop - become the Ocean.